I love praise and recognition. So do my students. Every week I announce the star student. The concept is to have every student be acknowledge for their own individual progress. It could be a student who improves in behavior, homework turn in, responsibility, or (for last week) the student who was such a great leader that the substitute called her by name. When K was announced today, she held her face in her hands and receive a warm embrace from M, a previous Star Student. It was the cutest gesture in the world. Two girlfriends celebrating an award.
My babies teach me so much. Its important to cherish those moments when life happens and shows you what truly matters in life. Everyone wants to feel important. Everyone wants to be a star.
I mean to do this Monday. In my room in a central location, impossible to miss, will hang a poster/sign/affirmation that reads “You are important”. Even I will need to take a glance or two throughout the day. After all, I’m human.
When you spend time in the presence of God it makes going on about your day a little tricky. Right now, I’m at my desk in my classroom…my plan was to come in early and work on lesson plans. I just want to stay in His presence. A year ago, I was in a place and point in my relationship where I was sick of “church”, angry with God, losing hope and honestly wanted to be void of feeling, emotion, frustration, disappointment. I was at my lowest and honestly I didn’t want to come up any higher. I was so deep in despair that I assumed my life should or would end before it got any better. But, God loves me. He cares for me, has plans for me. And I as pen this with tears clouding my eyes, I realize I learned to trust God. The one I was angry with, disappointed in, confused about. I had one small grain of trust that He saw me, He heard me, He held me.
Right now, I feel held again. And I thought I was fine, standing…walking…running. The worship that consumes you when you thought you were fine is that deep reflective refreshing feeling that He knows you in and out. The hairs on your head, like the sand on the beach.
There are times when I feel alone, feel helpless, hopeless, overwhelmed, and unimportant. Right now I’m so filled with assurance that I am in God’s arms, he is my victory, my hope, my King, and I am His Daughter. I am loved. By God.
I got back from Jamaica on Friday and I feel like I owe it to…myself to leave a blog…a note…some small remembrance of my vacation. I love to travel, love to experience new, meet new, be renewed. I finally finished a book on my trip, started a new one, stayed in a villa with a jacuzzi and an outdoor shower, witnessed a flood in the streets, enjoyed and complimentary couple’s massage for a lock out non-working key card situation, met new friends young old, black white, american and non…I had a ball. I love to travel.
My trip made me itch for a regular vacation/expedition/journey/whatever every quarter. So, I am making it happen. Fall: Jamaica…Winter: Alabama (settling for the states) Spring: NYC (yes, that is another country in my eyes)…Summer: California (Ahhhhh, can’t wait!)
We took another look at our budget tonight and I am recommitted. We will live our wildest dreams. Here is my bucket list:
1. Meet Denzel
2. Sky dive
3. Star in a movie
4. Travel Internationally 4 times in one year
5. Pay off Parents home
6. Learn to Sang
7. Speak Spanish fluently
8. Boxing Match
9. Body building contest
10. 12 inch hair
11. Own Youth Center
12. Christmas Carol
13. Write and Publish a Book
14. Professional photo shoot
15. Runway fashion show
16. Bar tend
17. Create self esteem app
18. Make a music video
19. Release a CD
20. Play piano by ear
…to be continued
Had my first voice lesson today. I know I can sing. I want to be able to SANG. I got great feedback, great affirmation and I’m excited to get better. I took the most from the lesson I need to learn in and outside of the studio: Breathe. And my instructor said until it becomes natural, I need to make myself do it, exaggerate it.
Whew! Applies to everything in life. Fake it til you make it. Affirm it til you confirm it. Believe til you receive it.
“I am walking in the Will of God. I commune with Him daily, so I’m headed in the right direction. I am blessed. I am redeemed. I am forgiven, therefore I forgive. My time is spent serving others. I find comfort in service, joy in giving, prosperity in encouraging others. I walk in my calling. I am chosen. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am growing, perfected in Christ. My life is not my own. I breathe.”
According to dictionary.com, an angel is a messenger, especially of God. Today, at church, I experienced an angel.
He came dressed in a soiled tan shirt, with torn jeans, salt and pepper spotted hair, bare in the middle, and a heart for God. I don’t know if I ever received such a message than the one that Aaron delivered to me today during my worship with Christ. I sat and I cried and I prayed and I repented and I wondered and I watched…
Watched this angel raise his hands in reverence, run to the altar for prayer, dart to the front for salvation. My heart felt heavy because week after week I come to church and try to look my most dignified, invite no one, embrace no one, and soak up a word for myself. A selfish fat cat in the house of God.
Lord forgive me.
I think, therefore I am.
Not going to find out who said that. Not even really going to elaborate on the meaning. I teach, therefore I learn. I am growing everyday and learning from the best educators on the planet- children.
Today, as I got side-tracked on facebook I ran across pages of my former students and then a site for my previous school. I don’t really feel like teaching, not the kind that I do- the deep relationship building, heart over the line, don’t eat, barely sleep, almost lost my mind, my heart, my soul kinda teaching allows for closure. How do you educate, truly get to the soul of a child and then cut ties? I see their posts, their pictures, their growth and their decline and I feel…eternally connected.
I figured what in my life is worth writing about. Other than my relationship with Christ, my relationship with kids has taught me so much about myself and the world around me. I love my babies. I started saying it before I really understood and meant those words, but I can honestly say I have some of the sweetest children in the world. It hurts my heart to think that some adults don’t know what a great privilege they have as parents.
This morning I was worn out! I was not in the mood. But guess what…my job is to teach. So I shook it off the best way I know how and I loved on my babies. We had a ball and by the end of the day, still not quite in the mood. I realized that we can do our best out of commitment, love, and respect, even when our emotions push us other directions.
I leave the end of each day exhausted and blessed. My job challenges me and makes me better. It makes me more patient, loving, accepting, humble, and most days…I’m like “I can’t wait to be a mommy”. But don’t tell my husband…lol