When you spend time in the presence of God it makes going on about your day a little tricky. Right now, I’m at my desk in my classroom…my plan was to come in early and work on lesson plans. I just want to stay in His presence. A year ago, I was in a place and point in my relationship where I was sick of “church”, angry with God, losing hope and honestly wanted to be void of feeling, emotion, frustration, disappointment. I was at my lowest and honestly I didn’t want to come up any higher. I was so deep in despair that I assumed my life should or would end before it got any better. But, God loves me. He cares for me, has plans for me. And I as pen this with tears clouding my eyes, I realize I learned to trust God. The one I was angry with, disappointed in, confused about. I had one small grain of trust that He saw me, He heard me, He held me.
Right now, I feel held again. And I thought I was fine, standing…walking…running. The worship that consumes you when you thought you were fine is that deep reflective refreshing feeling that He knows you in and out. The hairs on your head, like the sand on the beach.
There are times when I feel alone, feel helpless, hopeless, overwhelmed, and unimportant. Right now I’m so filled with assurance that I am in God’s arms, he is my victory, my hope, my King, and I am His Daughter. I am loved. By God.