Feelings…go away.

My feelings get hurt easily. I usually put up a wall, block it, suck it up, swallow the pain.

Today, 6 hours later I’m wondering if it was hurt feelings or a growth point. Doesn’t feel good either way. Feelings go away. Then there is a point where I find comfort in pain. Pain elevates me to the next level. I deal with the feelings and they lift me into a new and different action.

Now I’m not excited. I’m mad. Not anxious, determined and focused. Feelings destroy the fairy-tale of the thing and leave me with the raw emotions. I can do this. I will do this. Am I meant to do this? Am I called to do this?

And then the other thing is people…and people’s words. I’m sensitive. Uh, yeah so what. I’ve accepted that and so when offended, hurt, sad I try to decipher…is it spirit or flesh feeling out of wack. Is my pride being attached. That doesn’t feel good, but its for my good.

Okay, over it. For now I have work to do.

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