I find myself at a crossroads. Well…like a crossword puzzle. I have options and all require work and all require effort and all require prayer. I realize the past almost 2 years I’ve been a little lazy wanting and choosing and then neglecting to pray.
I pray the Lord’s forgiveness. And here’s the thing I know He forgives me. So I try not to cheapen His grace. When you know you have forgiveness it should lead you to walk in righteousness, not abuse the gift.
Anyway….back to decisions. I’m so plagued with making “bad” ones that even my “good” ones feel like “bad” ones. And then when I make plans, choices, decisions, I often deter from them anyway…so I find myself living a little unintentionally and sinning unintentionally but intentionally…and then repenting and repeating.
I’m really feeling exhausted with that cycle. So, I’ve decided to slow waaaay waaay down. And to realign some things. Well, one thing. My mind. My focus. My attitude. Those are one thing.
Today is a new day. I am forgiven. I am more than a conqueror. I am blessed. I am called to teach and to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. All my needs are met. All my desires are granted for I trust in the Lord. I cast my cares, doubts, and worries on the Lord and I walk light. Steps ordered by God, I experience the peace that surpasses all understanding. It doesn’t make sense that I am full of joy, of love, of forgiveness, of gratitude. However I am the righteousness of Christ Jesus and His Holy Spirit lives in and through me. Use me Lord. And remind me that I am to be used. Bless others through me and remind me I am to be a blessing. Give me patience and wisdom and strengthen my faith and assurance on your promises. I am the head, not the tail. I am the lender, not the borrower. I am debt-free. I owe no man. I give freely expecting nothing in return because my God shall supply all my need according to His riches in Christ Jesus. You are amazing. You are worthy. You are awesome. I love you Lord!
So I just moved. Again. I’ve moved four times in the last 2 years. Ugh. Awful, right? Yeah…I’m back in a place that reminds me of where I was in 2009 right out of college and in a new city. With lots of questions and unknowns. I’m remembering
-how did I make friends?
-how did I learn the city?
-how did I survive?
-how did I enjoy myself?
God and friends/family/church and work. lol. So when I’m feeling like God is calling me to go deep with the first step: God. In a new way. In a I’m 7 years older type way. LOVE THE NUMBER 7!!! In a now its about moving forward type way. In a the future is prosperity and hope type way.
So I go back to decisions. I get to make them. Don’t really like to make them. But I know how to and so I will keep God at the forefront of the choices I make small and huge. Seemingly insignificant and those which seem life changing. I choose to obey.