Good cry

I had a good cry this week. I don’t really know if there is such a thing as a bad cry.

 

My acupuncturist said tears are energy or emotion (or something) leaving the body. He sounded alot more deep saying it than I do typing and rereading. I love a “good cry”:

-Man on Fire with Denzel

-Green Mile

-certain gospel songs

-life

Well, this week began with fasting. And I think we (the four other ladies I fasted with) may have upset the little ole devil…cause Monday was the beginning of attacks and emotions AND aunt flow…what a week!?! But I made it. And I learned this very important lesson as I cried on way home from work, or at least tried to…

It is nearly impossible to cry while eating beef jerky. 

 

Cassandra Bruington, 2017

(good) Cry.

Tonight, I’m having one. For a number of reasons. Okay, just one. I had a tough day at work. I don’t really know why it was so emotionally taxing…

It has been…emotional tax season and it seems like I owe back taxes. Pain mis-paid. Not paid, rather unpaid. I owe tears. Years of tears and grief and sadness. I swear I thought I paid everything I owed. Today was the beginning of a payment plan arrangement that occurred without my conscious consent.

I thought I’d already paid for this. Today has been emotionally taxing…I’m so in need of a good cry.

I cried a little yesterday. Thought it was exhaustion.
Cried a little yesterday in praise.
Cried a little today. Thought it was frustration.
Cried a little just now.

It was literally one of the best cries ever. A (good) cry cleanses. More tears to come

Its been a while.

Who picks out the images on my WordPress site? They are awesome. Today- a picture of an acorn atop a stone block. Seriously, I’m in love with it. I want it in my home. When I move…(soon) I’m going to take pictures and frame them. They will be my home decor, then my thrift store donation. A few may even be my memoirs passed to my kids and their kids. #grannygoals

Poem:

If someone tells you you are not beautiful because you are black
They are either ignorant
or jealous
There is no third category

Black is the color of coal
It warms
The color of night
It gives us rest
The absences of light
perspective

Black is the shade of …
Black lungs. They are a band. They seem terrible. Black is honest.

Black hands fed me.
Black labor clothed me.
Black love holds me.

Black black black black

Its not offensive or dismissive or subservientsive
Black people make up words
Black is creative

Black is high
Black is low
Black is ice
Black is snow (black snow needs love too)

What I’m trying to say
If they don’t get it.
They.
Don’t.
Get.
It.
Keep “it” for the ones that do.

If someone tells you you are not beautiful because you are black
They are either ignorant
or jealous
Make no room for either.
Feel no obligation to be, or convince, or dumb down your blackness.
Just
Be
Black

by: a black girl from Waynesville

When I die

I want people to be sad when I die. I mean really sad. I want them to mourn that I’m no longer with them. Don’t get me wrong, I want an uplifting funeral with laughs and stories and great food! But I want to be missed. On an extremely surface level that is selfish “all about me”. Yet digging deeper I feel the heart grabbing need to be important in this Earth. I must be used by God to touch lives and to win souls. I’ve done it, but God desires to do so much more than me.

That’s better than life insurance! I’m convinced He is not finished with me yet. And I’m getting to a place of being grateful. Just being honest gratitude is my own personal journey.

Anyway, started this post (then battery died and I fell asleep) because I want to be remembered for what I did for Christ. To simply be missed will be worthless if my work points to myself. I want to be remembered for what I did for the Kingdom of God (Jesus’ daddy):

Matthew 5:16King James Version (KJV)
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A16&version=KJV

16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.