This is about to be a 6 minute butt load of randomness. I am at work and this is not designated blog time. But I need to “journal” and this is my digital release.
I’ve been waking up tired and uninterested in beginning my day lately. I am not used to this. I went from waking up at 430am at the beginning of the year, to not getting sleep, to waking at 530 to a random 515 to now turning my alarm off and today staying in bed until 615 while I listened in on my 6am prayer call. Its taken me 53 days to figure out that I need to get consistent with my sleep and routines (especially before and after bed).
I can not do what I want when I want how I want because it causes a chain reaction of tired attitude needing pumpingupness. And I am not here for it. My family, friends, students, and I suffer when I don’t give myself what I know I need. Sleep. Rest. Time. Energy. God.
So, let me just get my life together on here:
430: eye apt
530: gym (strong MAYBE) OR paper purge (more necessary…maybe I can do both)
My gym is too packed. It irritates me and to workout at my complex gym is a JOKE. I’ll get the paper together tonight and gym it up tomorrow (MAYBE).
800 clean and bed prep (listening prayer, meditation, rest IN BED)
I got distracted and my time is up…
Oh and yesterday I did the hard work of letting someone I love know that our relationship is going to need to look differently because its what’s best for me and for him. I have NEVER done that in my own strength. I’ve always been abandoned or “forced” to let go. How freeing to make a conscious and mature decision to guard my heart and obey God. Freedom: absence of fear. I’ll let him go and if he doesn’t fly out of the cage I created for him, we may both be able to soar on the outside. “Let’s see what happens…”