I’m just going to be honest, okay. I was a Gabby almost hater before I read her book. I think many actors are a lot like the characters they play and I just wasn’t a fan until Mary Jane. I know…Mary Jane put me on to Gabby. The lost wandering wanting to be in love and falling in love with the wrong men Gabby, I mean Mary Jane.
So anyway, I love Mary Jane and so I decided to give Gabby a chance. I’m in a bomb Book Club with my girls Toy and Monica and this book was next on dock. I was apprehensive at first. I wanted to support Mary Jane and Gabby, but I didn’t know if I was ready to give up my idea of the latter.
I fell in love with her honesty. The book left a lot still in question. She at points seemed very objective about her life, which I feel is not for me to judge. She told her story the way she wanted to and the world is lucky to have a glimpse into her world. I appreciate that she was real, raw, and uncut…its a way I tend to view myself.
What I learned for Gabby that it is okay to be yourself and to reinvent yourself when you realize life is not working in your favor. We have a lot in common and in a very selfish way that allowed me to like her more. I wrote a book myself hoping people would low key understand me and high key like me (more).
Shameless plug, go read my book Grow…or read Gabby’s. https://www.amazon.com/Grow-Cassandra-Vonesha-Bruington/dp/1547158247
This is a revelation. Even typing this blog is a little bit of a backslide. I have to rechannel my energy. Writing a book, starting a blog, starting a vlog, using twitter, starting a new job, moving to a new country, designing curriculum, planning daily lessons, joining a dance class, purchasing artwork, becoming veganish…I keep doing new things and then putting my energy into: making friends, support people, calling and checking in, showing I care, changing my classroom, giving surveys, planning trips and events, stalking Uber drivers (don’t ask)…o m g.
I wasn’t me, here’s the advice I would give Cassandra.
Sit down and be with God.
Be with God.
There is probably this same theme strung along my blog posts. Calming down and focusing. I am a dreamer and a thinker and a planner and a doer. And I love people. And sometimes I love to please people or at least to try to please them above my pleasing of God. Its sad and true. And if you examine your life…I’m not the only one. We have to create space for peace. Only God gives peace, so we must create space for God. So what’s got to go? My reaching out. Not like for help…and not the natural reaching out but the REACHING to be seen, heard, applauded, pursued, etc. Its exhausting. And I’m exhausted. Not all of my students will like me. Not all of their parents will like me. My coworkers don’t have to be my best friends. And I don’t owe cute guys who speak Spanish and take me places (Uber drivers) anything but a “gracias, adios”. So, I’m starting today to focus on me…believe it or not, the first thing I need to do is schedule a doctor’s appointment and get my thyroid levels checked. Something is off.