Focus on Me

This is a revelation. Even typing this blog is a little bit of a backslide. I have to rechannel my energy. Writing a book, starting a blog, starting a vlog, using twitter, starting a new job, moving to a new country, designing curriculum, planning daily lessons, joining a dance class, purchasing artwork, becoming veganish…I keep doing new things and then putting my energy into: making friends, support people, calling and checking in, showing I care, changing my classroom, giving surveys, planning trips and events, stalking Uber drivers (don’t ask)…o m g.

I wasn’t me, here’s the advice I would give Cassandra.

 

Sit down and be with God.

Be with God.

Be.

 

There is probably this same theme strung along my blog posts. Calming down and focusing. I am a dreamer and a thinker and a planner and a doer. And I love people. And sometimes I love to please people or at least to try to please them above my pleasing of God. Its sad and true. And if you examine your life…I’m not the only one. We have to create space for peace. Only God gives peace, so we must create space for God. So what’s got to go? My reaching out. Not like for help…and not the natural reaching out but the REACHING to be seen, heard, applauded, pursued, etc. Its exhausting. And I’m exhausted. Not all of my students will like me. Not all of their parents will like me. My coworkers don’t have to be my best friends. And I don’t owe cute guys who speak Spanish and take me places (Uber drivers) anything but a “gracias, adios”. So, I’m starting today to focus on me…believe it or not, the first thing I need to do is schedule a doctor’s appointment and get my thyroid levels checked. Something is off.

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