Obviously this blog doubles as a to do list. I really find no shame in that fact. I’ve put off blogging or commenting much on the fact that last week I packed up my life and moved to Costa Rica to teach. No big deal. I decided to do it a couple of months ago and have learned lessons on hoarding, overpacking, friendships (or the lack thereof), sex, drugs, and money. Two of the last three are overexaggerations that just felt right in the moment.
I have had one hell of a month and 10 days. Estimation. I’ve been to Houston, Kanasas City, St. Louis, Chicago, back to Kansas City, Columbia (Missouri), Waynesville (google it), back to St. Louis, New York City, back to Houston, to Charlotte (just the airport but still), to Miami (wait then when was I in Charlotte???) to Costa Rica. I want to cry. That was a lot of movement with people that I love. And I think I managed that time well. Toward the end of my travels, I blocked some feelings because I still had more ducks to nudge into a row. I left some ducks in the USA. Quack quack.
So, now, I’m here. Creating new lists. Living my best life. Still wanting to cry, but things may be too new, too real, to raw, to unprocessed to really let the rivers flow. I think if anyone asks me in a real way “how are you doing with everything”, I may cry. Like, if someone took a moment to check in on me, not my transition or the weather here or even what I need, but if a brave soul checked in on me- grab an umbrella.
Anyway, I’ll pour more out when I have a steady hand. Right now in this moment, I’m breaking up with my excuses. My belly keeps making me feel like I’m with child. And I love me and I love my body, but I’m confused…where did this infant inside me come from- sugar, indeed. No more excuses, I work out.
My audiobook is now two weeks past its release date and sure I moved, but it could be done. It will be done by the next time I blog….next week. Ahhhhh! I miss my excuses already.
My money- I haven’t spent what I budgeted. I also haven’t quite paid what I owe. Chase and ‘nem were acting REALLY slowly as I ( I never finished this post, but I don’t like having drafts, so…..”publish”.)