“You change your hair everyday”. False, but I understand that I do maximize the freedom and creativity my coils provide me with- I can switch thing us quickly. In fact, I’m headed to the states soon and I plan to purchase hair and stuff it in my luggage. Braiding hair, Marley twist hair, a latch hook, widely misrepresented as a “crochet hook”, and few hair ties, curl formers, and bobby pins. Whew! Thats a lot- I might need gel, too. We shall see.

Anyway…this post is a confession. A few days ago I resented and was ashamed of my natural hair:

it shrinks

it requires constant care

it falls out when “protective” styles are taken down- although I hear this is typical, it hurts my soul seeing the collection of coils looking like a lambs wool along my shower, counter, and sink.

I had to take out my last style a little early. I can’t have my fake hair looking nappier than my natural curls. So…I was faced with a decision, wig and switch (cause its hot) or natural hair. I focused on potential reactions and if my wig laying didn’t require braiding, which is time consuming and sometimes hurts AND my wigs weren’t blonde and black/red (hella bold), I probably would have rocked them. Instead, I did a wash and go and today a bomb twist out.


But thats only after contemplating:





and….wait for it…


My coils LITERALLY WILL NOT stay straight enough to showcase my length and this makes me look and feel different than I want to. I look more less conventionally beautiful. No big hair to wear as a crown. I feel more naked and exposed, less masked and “protected”. I’m just being honest.

I named my hair some years ago and Shea has to be offended that I’ve spent more time with her clothes than with her. So she’s been free for a few days now and we are relearning one another. Last night twisting wasn’t so bad. And I found out she HAS grown, she’s ACTUALLY REALLY TALL…she just wears flats that hide her long legs. I am falling back in love with my coils one moisturized twist out at a time.

“You change your hair everyday”. No.

You Change. Your hair everyday.




I hate being told to or asked to smile. Its annoying. And its unnatural to force a smile. I am content. And happy. And pleasant. And I show my emotions when I feel necessary. I don’t smile 24/7. And I certainly don’t smile more simply because I’m asked to – so stop.

Stop asking.


Love less

Love less

What a way to heal?! You’re saying for sanity sake I should love a little less. Give a little more sparingly. Pour out slowly. Look within and turn ever so gently.

Love less

Love less

God, I pray this doesn’t make me loveless.

Every where I go

I have 3% of MacBookPro battery life to type this. I’m feeling the #feels, so here we go.

I just got back from my “See you Later 2017 Summer Tour”. I said “see ya later” to friends and family and it was an amazing time! If I can just figure out how to make that my life 365/24/7 I will have reached my #lifegoals. (not sure why this is so hastaggy, but oh well).

NYC- love the city, love it more with family. It was so good. And so so so needed. Bonding and walking, lots of walking. I learned that my family can have a good time anywhere. We are so different and have so much in common. We are like an oil and water sandwich. God is the bread. I assigned personality assessments for my family. They humored me and took them and reported the results. So, I tested my luck and sent a love language quiz, still waiting…

Mine is:

Words of Affirmation!!!!!!

Quality Time!!!!

Acts of Service!!!

Physical Touch (higher when I’m dating)!!



Saw Girls Trip. Its was amazingly funny, slightly inappropriate, as is life. Go see it.

I miss my students. I don’t claim to be the best teacher in the world. Afterall, I’ve never won “Teacher of the…” anything. But I love kids. At my core and all the layers surrounding said core, I love kids. I want them to excel, to have a chance to be great. (laptop died).


Three days later and I’m in my feels today. I move in 4 days. And more than anything in this moment I want a good cry, a grand release, and lots of love and attention. I’m about to ascend on the greatest adventure of my life and I feel a little lost in the middle of the sea. I need water, though. The kind tears produce. For a lot of relationships this distance will break them. For many things that I have planted, they’ve withered and this transition will be their burial. For me this may be a rebirth, but for many a thing left unclosed unsettled unresolved, my journey across the seas is a death sentence. And I’m ready to mourn before the services.

I can’t save people. I can heal them. I can even demand from them what I feel I need, I want, I’ve earned, I desire. So…I want to learn to be content within. Thought I was there and now this. My emotions are aided my hormonal things but they are always honest with me. I’m listening.

I have a buttload of things to do,


but first….